15 Things We've Learned in 15 Years of Marriage

Lesson #10–Share a Calendar

When we were newlyweds, our blissful life was pretty simple and predictable. Fast forward 15 years and our lives are incredibly busy with our schedules and the schedules of 5 kids pulling us in every direction. We learned years ago that one of the best ways to avoid trouble was to share a calendar. In the days before smartphones, we had a dry-erase calendar on our refrigerator. For my own personal planning (like writing schedule and meal planning), I write in my favorite planner. For events, we record them in the shared calendar on our phones.

We’ve used Google Calendar and the Cozi app, but nowadays, we are simply using a shared “family” calendar on our iPhones. It is so helpful when something comes up to simply open our calendar and check our schedule. We also get notifications when one of us adds something to the calendar, so we aren’t surprised later. It is such a sanity saver!

Nobody’s Perfect

I have to admit that I am not perfect at adding everything on our calendar, especially lately because I need to replace my phone’s battery.  My phone spends more time on the charger than anywhere else (we scheduled my appointment, though, and it’s in our calendar!). Just this week I accidentally missed a podcast interview that I had scheduled last month. My husband had to stay late at work for a 3-on-3 basketball tournament (he’s a coach). He had added the tournament onto the calendar, but I forgot to add the podcast interview. If I had added it, I would have seen our time conflict. I could have rescheduled in advance or made arrangements to make sure my kids were doing quiet activities while I jumped onto Skype for the interview. But instead, I messed up. I got caught up in all of the crazy that falls between dinner and bedtime. But I did reschedule and am happy to report that I’ve added my new rescheduled time onto our calendar!

If we didn’t have this system in place, I am sure that I would have blamed him and his tournament at least a little. Instead I recognized that he did his part and his tournament was scheduled before my podcast interview. I messed up. I had mentioned the interview to him in conversation, but neither of us had the reminders from the calendar. No hard feelings or misplaced blame.

Usually during the weekend, we have a conversation about all that we have planned for the upcoming week. It is a great way to communicate our priorities. We try to make sure we have not forgotten anything on our calendars (like my podcast interview–palm to forehead). Can you tell we didn’t have that conversation last weekend?

The Message Behind It

Probably the most important part of sharing a calendar is the message we are sending to each other. We are demonstrating our love and respect for one another by sharing our most valuable limited resource: time. We are including each other in the details of our lives, working to make our family run smoothly and efficiently. For us, sharing a calendar has really made that more possible.

Lesson #10: Share a calendar.

Do you have a favorite way to share a calendar?

If you have missed any of the lessons in the series so far, here they are:

1-Forgive

2-Don’t Compare

3-Love His Family

4-Dream Together

5-Budget Together

6-Worship Together

7-Laugh Together

8-Go to Sleep Together

9-Speak Up

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