Every time I sat down to reflect on my Word for 2020, I was internally beating myself up. My head keeps telling my heart, “You failed.” And my heart breaks every time. But my head is only partially right. No, I did not shine in all the ways I hoped I would. And looking back, I might have been able to do more than I did. I spent much of the year in my home, not out spreading light. And if my only rubric for 2020 was based on my expectations at the end of 2019 or beginning of 2020, I most definitely failed. But that is possibly the biggest reason I choose a word instead of specific resolutions. Because I don’t know what the year will hold, I only know where I want to improve. So the more I reflect on 2020, the more I realize that I did push myself to shine in unexpected ways. And even though the year looked NOTHING like I (or anybody) expected, I can still celebrate some SHINE successes:
-After months of work, I was able to get a reenactor to my kids’ school from The Buffalo Soldiers National Museum to do two presentations on Harriet Tubman at the end of February! I was so excited to be there and see it all come together.
-I was able to complete another middle grade contemporary fiction story I am proud of for Achieve3000.
-I participated in an event to distribute books to children during the pandemic, while libraries were still closed.
-I used my teaching talents to teach the children I love most in the entire world (the five who live with me, of course). I created a Reflection Journal for them to use and I love it! I have also created some activities and worksheets this year that I am super excited to share in the future.
–I recorded a song with my bestie (virtually–it was really difficult!) and put it on YouTube!
-I pushed myself to query more agents so I could face the rejection and get over it. I know rejection is an inevitable part of the writing process. Every writer gets rejected. And it is easily my least favorite part of the job. So I pushed myself to query 10 agents in one month just so I could get over the fear and not let rejection stop me.
-I thought I would do more “shining” in public, but instead, I did more talking with and serving individuals. And I loved it.
-I read my picture book Oggie the Otter on Facebook Live for the Houston Moms Blog.
-I was able to teach my online summer classes again this year and had a bigger success than the year before. I had more students, more scholarships, and taught more classes.
-I helped two women I love dearly build their own websites to help them make progress with their businesses.
-I had the opportunity to speak to the teachers at my kids’ school on two different occasions, presenting about anti-racism and how to implement it within the classroom and in curriculum. I love this topic and even though it made me super nervous, I am so grateful for the opportunity.
-To top off the year, my family and I put on a Zoom Christmas concert instead of sending out Christmas cards. My children and I sang three songs that we’d practiced all of November and December and each of my boys played a piece on the piano as well. I ended the concert with a solo. It was definitely pushing me to live my word through to the end of 2020!
-I learned some new painting techniques and sought to develop new talents. I am still working on them, but I really enjoyed learning how to create a collage piece with acrylic paints and how to watercolor.
-After learning my husband’s blood pressure was too high, I have pushed myself to cook healthier, taking fewer shortcuts and incorporating more fruits and veggies and whole grains into our diet. I also found a wonderful company that sells smoothie mixes that are packed full of fruits and veggies AND they have registered dietitians that work with you to reach your goals (–at no additional cost! I highly recommend them.).
-I worked on a picture book manuscript that has been on my mind for years and made some progress with my middle grade novel, though not nearly the progress I anticipated at the beginning of 2020.
On my 2020 vision board, I included these words, though I didn’t include the source (sorry!): “Your greatest witness is the conduct of your lives.” Though my year didn’t look anything like I expected, I cannot deny that I gave this year my best shot. I am looking forward to 2021 and hope to take the experience I gained in 2020 to make this year my best year yet.
I think your 2020 was my 1992 – whenever. When we had to write a snippet about ourselves for that RS book many years ago I was embarrassed. I wrote about my childhood and college days but then when it came to my adult life I came up blank. I think the last 20 years was summed up like “now I’m the mom of 5”. I could not think of ANYTHING else worth mentioning. The word “shine” I could use now, not for being out in the public, but by my good influence that hopefully shines through my children now. At least I hope there is way more good influence than bad that I left them with 😂.
Hey, Sally! I know you have made the world a better place through your awesome kiddos! But I am so glad to know I am not alone in feeling completely buried by life during this season. You’ve always shined to me.