I like my name. I’ve always liked my name. Alissa. It starts and ends with the same letter. It has two pretty squiggles in the middle. It doesn’t have any letters hanging down. Neat. Not too long, not too short. It starts tall and bold with an “A” and the height of the L transitions perfectly to the “i” beside it. It’s easy to say if you’re a native English speaker. The only other person I knew of as a chid who had my name was Alyssa Milano from Who’s the Boss, though our spellings were different. I think I felt like she and I were in a secret name-club together.
When I was in school, I never needed to include my last initial. I wasn’t a Jessica or a Stephanie or a Jennifer. I was the only Alissa. If somebody said my name correctly, nobody asked, “Which one?” There was only one. That stayed true throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school. I only met two other Alissas when I was in college. But we were instantly friends. Unspoken inductees into the same name-club.
But just because I always liked my name doesn’t mean it was always easy to have a rare name. I came to learn that “different” names like mine was then (nowadays I swear I hear mothers calling out to their little Alissas almost every time I take my kids to the park—you know, back when we could take our kids to the park…) are not always the most convenient.
Allison, Lisa, Alicia, Melissa, Alice, Amanda, Aleecia all became my aliases. Softball coaches, teachers, office staff at school, they all fumbled through, using any one of those aliases. Some, like a softball coach I had in middle school, called me a different variation every practice. It became a running joke that whatever “A” name he said, the whole team knew he was talking to/about me. Others just stuck to the wrong name even though they knew it was the wrong name and it was my job to embrace the new name assignment. It was like their brains could only store a finite amount of names so I was stuck with whatever name their brain assigned me. If I got a card from someone that read “Melissa” or heard someone shouting, “Allison!” I always looked. Because while it could have been for someone who actually had those names, it could also have been directed at me.
I was always a pretty independent child. I’m independent to a fault. My mom raised us to be independent. Once I was old enough to drive, I went to doctor’s appointments and dental check-ups on my own. One day I was in a doctor’s office waiting room when a nurse came out holding a file folder. There was a man sitting across the room from me. We were the only two people in the waiting area. The nurse looked at her file folder, then looked up. Now, I have seen this look a bazillion times. It’s the I-don’t-know-your-name-so-I’m-going-to-take-a-deep-breath-and-say-the-first-potential-name-that-comes-out-of-my-mouth look. I don’t remember which variation she used, but I’m pretty sure it was “Alicia.” I was already standing. I’d seen the look. I knew she was going to butcher my name. As I approached her, the nurse apologetically asked, “Did I say that right?” I smiled the it’s-OK-that-you-butchered-my-name-it-happens-all-the-time smile and calmly said, “It’s Alissa,” because sometimes people’s brains can retain it once they’ve heard it. And I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. But right after I said it, another nurse corrected us in passing, “It’s Eliza!” Because obviously I needed to be told how to correctly pronounce my own name. I was stunned in the moment, but have laughed about it ever since.
Names are pieces of our identities. They give us a subject for our stories. Whether they are unique or not, traditional family names, names discovered in a baby name book, or names inspired by a beloved character on a TV sitcom, they give us a foundation to build on. And even though my name has been misspelled and mispronounced for most of my life, it is mine. No matter the nicknames or aliases—chosen or assigned—one thing will always be true: I am Alissa.
Blogiversary Giveaway
Today’s blogiversary giveaway is from my beautiful friend Sarah of Sarah’s Facepainting and Art . She is giving 2 lucky winners FREE NAME PAINTINGS! Name paintings are 100% original, made by Sarah, hand-painted, and custom just the way you want! You have the freedom to choose your theme and favorite characters with dozens of options such as:
- Disney Princess
- Disney Prince
- Superheroes
- Animals
- Baby/Nursery
- Graduation
- Mickey Mouse
- Tropical
- Floral
- Star Wars
- Cars/Trucks
- AND MORE!—Any theme you can think of!
Paintings are made on Bristol Board. No matting/framing included. Size is 9.5″ x 24″ (fits standard doors), or can go anywhere else you’d like. Free shipping (US only)
AND, Sarah is also giving all of my readers a special gift! If you go to her Etsy shop to order a custom name painting, use the Etsy coupon code SPLATTER to get $5 off!
Blogiversary 2020–Sarah’s Facepainting and Art
I love your perspectives. I’ve always been Sarah G. Always. I’ve never been just Sarah. Starting in kindergarten there were always more than one Sarah. In high school there were many too. When I swam in college there were 3 Sarahs and I was “Sarah with an H” because I was used to saying that. I didn’t like that there were multiple ways to spell my name. I always said “Sarah with an H” when talking to Dr’s on the phone or for anyone who didn’t know me. I felt the name Sara was just incomplete.
This is so fun! If we win I’d like our last name in tropical letters and put it on our patio. (hopefully I can put a good top coat on it )