During the school year, we maintain a pretty rigid routine (especially on school days) to make sure the boys get to school on time, get their homework and piano practice done quickly, dinner eaten, baths taken, and everyone is in bed by 8pm. But the summer is a whole different ball game! As the weeks progress, we get to bed later and later. Typically this means everyone wakes up a bit later, too. By the middle of the summer, routines are only a memory and we are sometimes scrambling to make sure the boys are performing basic duties each day (like brushing teeth, making beds, cleaning something, etc.). Sound familiar?
For the past few years, we have found great success using behavior charts that we call “star charts” (particularly this one and this one
I have been amazed at how often my boys will save all of their stars with great discipline to earn the highest prize on our chart: 125 stars for $10. Between the “small treat” and the $10 prize, they can choose other rewards like “Make a treat with Mom” or “Go to the zoo/a museum” or “Choose a movie” or “Play at the park.” When first creating a star chart, it is fun to have your children contribute ideas for rewards they can earn. This is another way I like to give them an opportunity to set personal goals and work towards those goals. Once we have our rewards in place, we can set our expectations. We typically include quite a few, so that if they mess up one day (everybody has days like that, right?), they should still earn something:
- Brush teeth 2x (morning and night)
- Make bed
- Clean playroom
- Show kindness
- Listen the first time
- Cleaning job (we follow Clean Mama’s cleaning calendar, so the jobs vary depending on the day)
- Practice piano
- Read
- Do your best
- And more…
Each item is worth one star if they complete it. Additionally, if they have had multiple instances of fighting, they could receive negative amounts of stars in the “show kindness” category. Typically I will warn, then if the negative behavior continues, I simply inform them that they have lost a star. Sometimes, this is not the first time they have lost a star, so I will remind them of the number of stars they have lost and then I expect them to tell me how many they lost at the end of the night when we do our interview. I usually remember pretty well, but it is a great way to encourage honesty and integrity as I ask them to report their behavior back to me. These interviews are always done respectfully and I am never standing over them belittling them while recounting their actions throughout the day. This would discourage my kids and make star charts more of a chore for everyone involved. I also have to remind siblings that I am not asking them to judge their brother’s actions (because they always want to).
At the end of the night, once we’ve seen how many stars each child has and what he wants to do with those stars (save or spend), I encourage them to try to do even better the next day. I may point out an “easy” thing that they forgot to do, or maybe encourage them to try to earn a star in a particular category where they haven’t earned a star all week. All in all, this star chart system works very well for my boys and I love that it gives them a chance to do more self-evaluation and move away from feeling “victims of a punishment.” We typically begin this system when our kids turn 2, so our little girl isn’t quite old enough to start yet, but I wonder if she will respond differently than our boys have. I’ll let you know!
What do you do to keep your kids on track in the summer? Do you use different systems in the summer than you do during the school year?
Note: I have shared several links within this post to share more information about systems and programs we use. I am in no way affiliated with these programs at this time and am simply sharing this information because that is what friends do. I am an Amazon Affiliate, however, so the one link I shared to the Amazon Appstore could potentially earn me a tiny commission. We really did use that app for a few years before we moved to the iPad app.
